A little, a lot, passionately, madly? Who does not remember having stripped the daisy seeking to conquer the dreadful doubt as to the love of the beloved? Who does not remember the emotions of the first love born at 14, 16 or 18? How could the proximity of the elected make us capsize and dream for hours … even before having spoken to him? We were in love with Love. Let me Give you a surprise, there is a Love Calculatorwhich you can use to calculate Love between Partners.
The first release, the first kiss, the first promise, the first caress, the first project dreamed of two. He was so wonderful; she was so beautiful; nothing existed without him; the future was not possible without it. Our love was pure and eternal. We transformed the world, had the most beautiful children and we lived happily. Nothing could stop us. Except …
Except … the first sentence of love. What tears and sobs! How could he do this to me? I never imagined that she could be like that. What a big void creates the first pain of love! What a pain in the stomach and stomach the loss of the loved one can arouse. What a depression! And just before sinking completely, here comes … a new love.
We will always remember our first love of adolescence with nostalgia. And how the learning of love could be strewn with pitfalls, but also pleasures and indescribable joys. Until the moment when the rare pearl arrives and we make the big jump: we promise to love each other forever, for better and for worse.
However, according to official statistics, only two out of ten couples confirm the conclusion of novels or movies of love: they got married, had (today) two children and lived happily? We all know supportive couples who have loved each other since adolescence, who have studied together, who have beautiful children, and who seem to be ready to spend the rest of their lives together. But we know more couples who, oh! surprise, divorced. In fact, five out of ten marriages currently, according to figures from the World Health Organization, lead to divorce. And the three out of five couples stay together, for the better, but especially for the worse, do not talk to each other anymore or go to seniors’ homes.
What makes the success of couples who walk and go through the years? Is there a magic formula or miracle available to everyone? What makes some people never seem to have problems with their loves and others always seem ready to depress and want to commit suicide after a break in love? People seem happy, with or without stable partners; others cling to the first comer or to the first who can not say no.
Much has been written about the difficulties of love. Hundreds of books show the extent to which love is often consumed as a drug and, of course, when drugs are lacking, the symptoms of lack, both physical and psychological, arrive.
But what is love?
It is said that love is an emotion. Little Robert tells us that an emotion is: a movement, an agitation, an effective reaction, usually intense. Love would be a movement towards someone. How can two people in the movement, one towards the other and in their respective lives, make this reciprocal movement last through the vicissitudes of life together?
In my opinion, there are three essential conditions for the longevity of love: admiration, dream and sexual desire. And these three components must be channeled to the same person. And reciprocal. And stable. But not necessarily in order: desire can be born of admiration or vice versa.
I can only love someone if I admire him and I feel admired by that person. Admiration is a feeling of joy and fulfillment at what one deems to be beautiful or big (little Robert). There is love only in respect. From the moment one shouts foolishness, one seriously mortgages love. We may not always agree on the education of children, how to spend money (these are the two main sources of disagreement) …, but we must always agree that the other is a unique human person worthy of respect and admiration. Let’s not forget that two lovers are also two intimate enemies … who must respect? The decline of admiration is parallel to the decline of love. Hence the
Two people who love each other share the same projects, the same dreams; they are two accomplices who plot their future together: the purchase of the first house or the first car, the arrival of the first and subsequent children, the professional successes of one or the other, social involvement, holidays, retirement …
Again, individual dreams are not necessarily the same and do not necessarily have to be subordinated to the dreams of the couple, but from the moment when personal dreams take over, or from when I catch myself dreaming with one another, the end of the common dream is near. All couples are based on two independent people with their own projects. To love oneself is to dream together of possible things.